So roommate and I were sitting in my grandma’s living room, getting ready to go to my first cousin once removed’s husband’s birthday party the other day and I didn’t have my makeup on. My sister calls from the bathroom for for me to get ready and I’m resisting because…Tumblr. Well I finally get off and stand up and roommate/bro’s gf is like “Good girl.” I’m amused, so I go along with it. ”Am I a dog now?” She looks at my grandma’s Cocker Spaniel. ”Seems to work for Sassy.”
Me: Fine. Do I get a cookie?
Her: Dogs don’t get cookies.
Me: Ok then, do I get a biscuit?
Me: Cause that’s a cookie.
Her: (Fighting laughter) Dang it, Rachel! We’re in America!
My little brother got into outer space and stuff so my step-mom bought him a place mat with all the planets on it. When I first saw it, I was upset, because it was newer and so Pluto wasn’t labeled. I was about to say something when I noticed something…